My imperfection

Me and Mama in Imbiah Terrace, Sentosa

At Siloso Beach

Look Out Ma!

Sentosa Monorail

I believe no one is perfect, and I do have a lot of shortcomings... but no matter how imperfect you are there are people who this loves you no matter what. I was browsing on the pictures that I have on my 4GB USB disk and I therefore conclude that I miss my mama, she visited me here in Singapore couple of months ago and I truly miss her. We are not in speaking terms lately.. I know we have a slight misunderstanding and I truly miss her. Im counting and Im nearly 30 years old... and I am thankful that I have a mom like her. Sobrang nahihiya na ako sa kanya, I dont have the face already. I had my Paula out of wedlock, and something that I am not proud of... because I wasnt able to help out my family financially even they let me finished college (what a daughter I am) and right now my second baby, Yuan is with them and she is taking care of it, together with the help of my siblings.

Its not mothers day today, I just realized even how imperfect I am... My mom loves me so much and I can feel it even we are apart. I love you ma!

Melodramatic Movies Galore

Since Im on a so called waiting game, Im so much into movie watching. It is streaming over the internet (thank god! technology is really something). Yesterday, Ive watched Caregiver with Ate Michelle who worked from home and today Im finishing Pursuit of Happyness. Super drama ng movie and it moved me. Ive been in melodramatic state since Sunday and until now, I feel the same. Is it because of the movies that I've been watching lately? Drama talaga ng buhay and that includes my life. I am tempted by another job offer by another company. Ang tagal kase ng appeal ko with Keppel and I hope matapos na talaga tong pag aantay ko. Sobrang naiinip na ako. Malapit na din ang birthday ko and I would like to go home for my birthday, and I have my ticke but the thing is I have to wait until my pass is approved. Sobrang naiisip ko kung di ako na loko ng 4,000 SIngapore dollars di ako mag titiis dito e. Gusto ko lang din mabawi yung nawala tapos uuwi na lang din ako sa Pinas. Nakalagay pa sa MOM na it would take 3 weeks or more for an appeal. God, again Im running out of time. Sobrang nag woworry na ako and this is making me sad to the nth power. Im turning 30 pretty soon and I hope Im working by that time. Im wooried....

Waiting Game

Its been months here in SG until now di pa rin naayos ang employment pass ko. Hayyy, ang tagal tagal na at super naiinip na ako. I want to go home na pero Ive waited for so long already and going back in the Philippines is no longer an option. I was way to sad last night. I actually cried my self to sleep. Most of the time, if I can control it, I will. Hold back the tears most of the time. But last night, I breakdown. Minsan I wont feel my husbands' presence anymore. I know magkalayo kami literally however I felt so alone . Im so tired of browsing my friendster and other websites and I just tired of waiting. I would like to start working. In my whole career life, Ive been working from the time I hit 18, and never been idle from the time I worked fulltime. We exchange sms and says "wag ka ng malungkot, mabuti nga nabigyan mo pa sila ng oras pag nagkawork ka na limitado na ang time mo, malaki pa sweldo mo, love you po ma, andito lang po ako, tawag po ulit ako sayo..." I have to admit I was also pressured by friends on when will I start working. I have to tell the same story that the company appealed and we are just waiting for the IPA from MOM. Ang hirap when it come to money. The real thing is nabubuhay na lang ako sa hinggi. My friend from Abu Dhabi sent me some money for me to survive, my dad who have bigger responsibility in the Philippines have to send me money and even my grandma sent me money, at buti na lang may western union! hayyy.... Nakakainip, at napapagod na akong mag antay. Madalas naiisip ko na lang umuwi, at mag alaga ng mga anak ko. Isa pa yun sa iniisp ko right now, yung dalawa kong anak magkahiwalay. Paula is in Laguna and Yuan is in BF homes. Sila na nga lang ang magkasama dapat sa Pilipinas, hiwalay pa sila. Nakakalungkot lang...

at sobrang na mimiss ko sila

Missing my family so much

From the title itself... Darn! Im missing them so much. Today is my baby's 7th month and Im not there with him in the Philippines. Ive talked to my hubby Jae, who is also away and located in Nagoya Japan. Minsan naiisip ko ang sama nmaning parents. How come we left our kids with our relatives for us to work aboard. Sobrang nakakalungkot.... Hayyy! Ang lungkot sa abroad. Since kakaalis lang ni Pau, ang lungkot lalo. Ang hirap pla pag ikaw na yung iniiwan...

My Paula's Trip to SG

Last July 31- August 3 Paula, my eldest daughter visited me here in Singapore. Evem I haven't started working yet, thier trip pushed thru...